Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I am not Pro-life, but this could make me so

Did she ever consider divorce?  I would never have an abortion myself, but I am a little on the fence if it should be illegal in all cases.  But in this case, this woman belongs in jail. 

A woman has admitted to being 'an abortion addict' after having 15 terminations over 17 years.

Irene Vilar said she had the abortions not from poverty or fear but as an extraordinary act of rebellion against her 'controlling' husband who did not want children.

The 40-year-old's confession has unleashed a torrent of attacks from anti-abortion activists on the internet, including death threats and demands for her to be jailed.

The cycle of pregnancies and abortions, which began when she was 16 and ended when she was 33, was also punctuated by several suicide attempts.

Now a successful literary agent with two young daughters, Loretta, five, and Lolita, three, Mrs Vilar has written about her experiences in a memoir, called Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict.

The book, which was published yesterday, has shocked many Americans, who remain bitterly divided over the issue, and has angered campaigners on both sides of the abortion divide.

Charmaine Yoest, president of pro-life pressure group Americans United for Life, said: 'It really underscores everything we always say in the pro-life movement - that abortion is part of a very sad story for women.'

However, pro-choice campaigners said Mrs Vilar's book raises uncomfortable questions about abortion as a form of birth control.

Mrs Vilar said of the book's reception: 'I am worried about my safety and the hate mail. I just imagine the "baby killer" stuff and I could be a poster child for that kind of fundamentalism.'

The attractive one-time academic prodigy attended a boarding school in New Hampshire and was accepted into a New York university when she was only 15.

A year later, she fell in love and married a 50-year-old Latin American literature professor, who she says was opposed to having children.

She claims he bragged that his relationships never lasted more than five years and told that having children killed sexual desire.

In response, Mrs Vilar said she rebelled by 'forgetting' to take her birth control pills.

Puerto Rican nationalist Lolita Lebron, pictured at an anti-U.S. protest in 2000, is Ms Vilar's grandmother. She left her own daughter with relatives as a baby

'In the beginning I was taking pills and I'd skip a day or two or give up one month,' she said in a television interview. 'I'd think I'll be better next time.

'But slowly, my days took on a balancing act and there was a specific high. I would get my period and be sad, then discover I was pregnant, being afraid, yet also so excited.'

She claimed she had the abortions so her husband wouldn't leave her although she failed to reveal whether he knew of the terminations.

'Of course, this did not mean I wanted to do it again and again.

'A druggie also wants to stop every time.'

'Women have written memoirs about their anorexia or their bulimia, and they explain the best that they can what motivated their addiction or their behaviour. I try to do the same in this book.'

Her first husband, Pedro Cuperman, a professor at Syracuse University in New York, could not be contacted for comment yesterday.

In her book, Mrs Vilar also revealed how she is haunted by a tragic past. Her grandmother, Puerto Rican nationalist Lolita Lebron, was jailed for 25 years after storming the U.S. Capitol building with a gun in 1954.

She was convicted of attempting to overthrow the government and was jailed for 25 years before she was pardoned by President Jimmy Carter in 1979.

Divided: Ms Vilar's book has split opinion on the issue of abortion

The author was eight when her mother killed herself by jumping from a moving car and died two days later. Her husband had been driving while her tiny daughter had made a pathetic attempt to hold her mother back.

Two of Mrs Vilar's brothers became heroin addicts.

Although she said she did not see herself as a victim, she admitted she felt she had let the women's movement down.

Now re-married, she is raising their two daughters and two teenage stepchildren in Denver, Colorado.

'Motherhood has made me feel accountable,' she said. 'It hasn't made me less pro-choice.

'It's just that I understand and feel the weight of the privilege we have in exercising our right to choose.'

Yesterday, a report released by the U.S.-based Guttmacher Institute revealed the number of abortions fell from 45.5million in 1995 to 41.6million in 2003.

The study claimed progress had been made in reducing unintended pregnancies, but too many women were still having unsafe abortions, with 32 countries having laws that make the procedure illegal.

The manuscript for Impossible Motherhood was rejected 51 times, before finally being published by Other Press.

Miss Vilar married her second husband in 2003 and now lives with her two daughters and two stepchildren. She is planning a new memoir on motherhood


archer said...

"conservative girl"? sorry but you're not quite there yet, but appear to be heading there. support of abortion is a disqualifier.

fact is that this woman is not all that unique. serial abortions are a fact of life. they are just not made public and bragged about.

Left Coast Rebel said...

Disagree with archer being 'on the fence' re: abortion is a lot different than being pro-abortion. I can vouch for conservative girl's conservative credentials regardless of this opinion. Also, the fact that she is expressing disgust here with this story shows that she is open to other ways of looking at the issue.

And by the way, I am a strongly libertarian leaning conservative and am pro-life. We don't all fit a certain mould, do we?

Just a conservative girl said...

I don't think that a young girl who is a victim of incest or a rape victim should be forced into going through with a pregnancy. If that makes me a bad conservative, than so be it.

Teresa said...

I can understand your position on incest and rape. But, I would say adoption is usually a realistic alternative. Also, what did this precious life do to deserve being murdered? Plus, I have met a few people who had been raped, and they're glad to have their children and couldn't be imagine being without them. But, in saying that, I am also realistic in the sense that if a bill was passed that banned abortions except in the case of rape, incest and the life of the mother than that would make me very happy.

Light Up Your Life said...

I can understand your position on abortion when it concerns 'incest'--but not rape. Afterall, there are other options on that point (pregnancy by rape) i.e. 'put the child up for adoption' because there are plenty of people out there who want children and are unable to have children who would adopt a child.

True, some people would be a little uneasy about adopting a child that was a product of rape or incest--but here's the thing (in my opinion at least) it is not the child's fault as to how they were created, so why hold the child responsible and have an abortion? I would gladly adopt a child from someone just to keep it from being aborted, no matter HOW that child was conceived.

As for this woman who seems to be 'addicted to abortions'--it makes my heart sick--it makes my heart turn to ice--it makes my heart want to throw up. Do I think she should be jailed? Frankly my dear, I think she should be put UNDER the jail.

But that is just my opinion. Great post and thank you for sharing.

The Griper said...

While what you posted left you wide open for criticism from both sides of the issue, to my way of thinking it says a lot more about you as a person.

Some truths can be very uncomfortable to a person's ideology but the fact you are willing to admit them and even share them with us declares to me that truth is far more important to you than ideology and i am with Reb and commend you for it.

Opus #6 said...

This woman's story is sickening. I don't believe advocating legislation banning abortion is part of the conservative litmus test. Many conservative ladies who abhor abortion, donate time, materials and money to anti-abortion causes and help young pregnant girls, don't believe in legislating, but educating the girls to change their hearts.

This woman, though, is beyond the pale. If there is a heaven or hell, I only hope she is held accountable for what she did.

Jessica said...

I'm a Conservative with Libertarian leanings, when it comes to social issues such as abortion and gay marriage.

As much as I hate abortion and think it's an evil act, I don't feel it is something that should be legislated by the Federal Gov''s a State's issue.

As for rape and incest - I don't think those are valid reasons for the legalized abortion, considering they account for less than 1% of performed abortions. And if those are the only criteria one needs to obtain an abortion, what is there to stop girls from making more false rape and incest claims?

What this woman did is just awful, legal but awful. I don't know how someone can live with themselves after doing this, which explains the multiple suicide attempts, but I think her story is an important one to hear about.
Thanks for sharing.

Just a conservative girl said...

I am with you on the state's issue thing. The reason that I think that Roe is wrong is the fact that it is a state issue. I really am very conflicted when it comes to abortion; or more acurately, the legalization of it. I know that I would never have one. This is one issue that I don't have a strong opinion one way or another.

Anonymous said...

Conservative girl,

My mother was raped at 16. I was born 9 months later. I had a really bad childhood, filled with abuses of all kinds. Despite all that I am glad my mother choose to let me live. She told me she considered abortion. I just got "lucky".

I don't buy into the thought that because someone is raped then it is ok to have an abortion. That is the greater crime - to murder a innocent being based on how he/she was created. Good things can come from horrible situations if we let them. It doesn't mean life will be beautiful with roses but the chance for life, to live, is the most important one. Each person can choose the path of their destiny if given the chance to live.

I ask you, if you were standing in front of me, would you tell me that it was my mothers choice if I lived or not? I would like to think you would look at me, at my six children and see that there is more to the issue than if someone was raped or molested. And for the record, I endured both as well so I know what I am talking about. The only difference is that I never got pregnant in my abuses.


Writer X said...

The lady of this book sounds like a nutjob. Wouldn't it have been an "act of rebellion" to simply take her birth control pills? There's a thrill in having an abortion? Demented.

Just a conservative girl said...

One of the problems with this issue is that people think they can force thier opinion on someone else. Someone who is fervent in thier belief on either side of this issue thinks that they are right. If someone truly believes that they are correct something that a stranger says isn't going to change their mind. I believe what I believe.

Anonymous said...

I'm not trying to force my opinion on you. I was sharing things as someone who was conceived from rape and then molested as a child.

You put your opinion out but you didn't want to hear from someone that has been in the very circumstances that you hold as exemptions? I would have liked to think you would have at least thought about it for a second before you got irritated that I asked you a question.

Might want to reconsider the conservative label. Usually it is Liberals that tell me to keep my opinions to myself. In my experiences conservatives usually allow for intelligent debate so as to challenge themselves and their thinking.


Just a conservative girl said...

Your not trying to force your opinion? That is exactly what you are trying to do by saying would you say that "I shouldn't have lived". That is emotional blackmail. You are pro life, and you have strong opinions based on your own life experiences. You have every right to those opinions.

I would never have an abortion. Roe is bad law due to the fact the federal government has no right being involved in this issue. A young girl who is a victim of incest may need to make a different choice. She may not be emotionally able to handle it. Not everyone has the emotional fortitude to do what your mother did.

A women who has several other young children and may lose her life may make the choice to be around for her existing children instead of leaving them all orphans. That is a decision that a family alone needs to make. I wouldn't make that choice for someone else. I have no right to.

Those are a small percentage of the abortions that are done every year. But those things do happen.

Janie Lynn said...

I am very like you Conservative Girl, on this issue. Or, always have been I guess. But when I think of the liberal point of view which is usually pro-abortion and anti-capital punishment, and being a mother myself I find myself believing that abortion is the killing of an innocent human life and capital punishment is the killing of someone who has proved they do not deserve to live through their actions.

I'm also beginning to believe that while pregnancy can be a huge strain on someone when the circumstances are bad (I am aware that is understating many circumstances), but on the hand abortion seems to be one more thing that allows people to absolve themselves of personal responsibility. Something we see too much of these days.

The woman who wrote the book? I hope she got some really good counseling because it's obvious she could have benefited from some.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Google Analytics Alternative