Thursday, June 4, 2015

What Those Calling Bruce "Call Me Caitlyn" Jenner Brave Seem to Forget

Bruce Jenner has made his long-awaiting appearance to the world as woman.  She is now Caitlyn Jenner, thank you very much.  I want to make perfectly clear at the onset, I couldn't care less what she/he does.  It isn't my business. 
What my concern in this matter is are the calls of bravery and courageous.  I take issue with those words.  Not because of his surgery (if he is even going full board on the surgery, as I am not sure if that is the plan or not). 
I am more than willing to accept the idea that transgender people have brain issues.  It is scientific fact that a woman and man have different brain wiring.  I can't remember which is which, but one is more wired left to right and the other is front to back.  It is very possible that a transgender person has the wiring of the other sex.  Studies have shown that postmortem brains show differences in people who self identify as a transgender person.  The human brain is a mysterious thing that in truth we know very little about. 
Maybe it is a "mental illness" as some call it.  But, most mental illnesses are issues with brain function.  So it is possible that both things can be true.  I don't know, and quite honestly I don't care.  Caitlyn Jenner is free to do as she pleases. 
I get what people who are throwing the words "brave" and "courageous" around are trying to say.  Caitlyn may help other who are dealing with the same issues down the road.  That is great I suppose. 
What bothers me about the use of the words is that if you really take a look at the whole picture, it isn't really that at all. 
I fully admit I didn't watch his (If I am not mistaken, that was the pronoun to use at the time) entire interview.  But, I did watch parts of it.  I did hear him talk about how he felt this way as a young child.  I did hear him talk about this was the reason his first two marriages ended.  Ok, he married the first time.  I might even be willing to throw in the second marriage as part of his confusion in his identity.  But I draw the line at the third marriage. 
He talked about how he started taking female hormones at the end of second marriage.  He looked into getting surgery and living as woman back in the late 80's.  He then met his third wife.  He stopped taking the hormones and got married.  That is selfish, not brave or courageous. 
 Probably a mistake I made was maybe not having her understand,'
Probably?  I think Ms. Caitlyn needs to change that to definitely.   

"I wasn't as fair as I should've been to the women I married. I've apologised to everybody. I've apologised my entire life."

What would have been courageous and brave was to live your life without dragging innocent people into it.  As a man, he fathered six children.  4 of whom he freely admits he was an absentee father to.  Now they are dealing with the fact that their father is a woman.  As any child would, the love they feel for their dad outweighs the confusion and other emotions that they must be feeling.  Every child wants their parents to be happy.  But was it fair to them?  I don't think so. 

"Kris is a good woman, I got no complaints with her. Honestly, if she had been really good with it, understanding, we'd still be together."

It is brave to expect a woman who married a man to be ok with becoming a woman in a lesbian relationship with her husband who is now her wife?

I'm no fan of the Kardashian clan, but I don't see how anyone can blame her for wanting a divorce.  She has children with this man who is now a woman.  For the sake of her children she needs to do what she can to be accepting.  I can't believe that I am saying this, but she is far more brave.  Imagine how hurtful it must be to the spouse of someone who comes to you and says, hey I am not happy with my gender and would like to get my penis cut off, get a breast implant, and live as woman.  Most people would want a divorce in that case.  My understanding is that he did tell her some time ago.  But again, he married her.  He had children with her.  He was a father figure to her children from her first marriage, especially after the death of their own father. 

"Call Me Caitlyn" Jenner isn't brave.  He had the opportunity decades ago to be that.  But instead he dragged another family into his issues.  Brought more children into the world to deal with the aftermath of his issues and dragged yet one more woman into a marriage.  He did this because he wasn't brave enough to be who he believed he should be.  From his own words he knew this for more than sixty years before he did this.  He created a mess and expects them all to happy about it, because he is now ready to be who he/she should have been all along. 

As I said, I have no problem with someone deciding for themselves to change genders.  Whatever.  There is plenty of science to back up that this is an issue with brain function.  I also fully get that at the time of his first marriage, it would have been difficult at best to be openly transgendered.  But, by the time he was in marriage number three that was no longer the case.  Yes, there is hate towards transgender people.  They suffer abuse from not only their families, but others who find them disgusting.  But there are plenty out in the world that are accepting, this would be especially true had he lived a more private life instead of a very public one. 

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