Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Presidential Debate Drinking Game

1 Drink Events
  • Romney cites the "six studies" that have signed off on his tax plan.
  • Unlike the last time around, Obama says the number 47.
  • A question is asked about marriage equality or gay rights.
  • The audience boos either candidate.
  • Either candidate praises a member of the other party.
  • A questioner asks about the Obama administration's response to the attack in Libya.
  • Obama brings up the Massachusetts health care law.
  • Anybody says the word "Bain." Take an extra drink or two if it sounds a bit more like "Bane."
  • Housing or Fed policy is discussed by either candidate.
  • Stimulus-funded "green jobs" and windmills supposedly made in China are derided by Romney.
  • Either candidate accuses the other of making Medicare unsustainable for people under age 55.
  • Either candidate directly panders to the hometown of a questioner.
  • Obama accuses Romney of changing his policies mid-debate.
  • Either candidate hassles the moderator over how much time they've been given to speak.
2 Drink Events
  • Anyone says "malarkey."
  • An actual unemployed person gets to ask either candidate a question.
  • Big Bird is mentioned in a question.
  • The camera pans to a woman or member of an ethnic group that a candidate is currently pandering to.
  • A question is asked about immigration policy at a presidential debate.
  • Taking the lead from Vice President Joe Biden, Obama actually defends the stimulus.
  • A questioner starts crying, mid-question.
  • As he is wont to do, Romney attempts to guess the age and ethnicity of a questioner.
  • Several minutes into a question, an audience member has to be reminded to ask a question, not make a statement.
  • Obama channels Biden and laughs through a response from Romney.
  • A questioner asks the candidates about unmanned drone policy.
  • Moderator Candy Crowley cuts off a questioner to ask her own, vaguely related, question.
  • A questioner asks either candidate about the euro crisis. 
3 Drink, Red Alarm Events
  • Obama visibly falls asleep at his podium.
  • To keep from falling asleep, Obama appears on stage with a nicotine patch stapled to his forehead.
  • Romney leaves the stage half way through the debate, figuring he may as well go out on top.
  • Obama sends in Biden to debate Romney in his place.
  • To level the playing field, Romney sings the answer to an audience question on the economy.
  • Obama congratulates his fellow Nobel Peace Prize winners: everyone living within theEuropean Union.
  • From The National Journal

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