Imagine my surprise when I read this on HuffPo. Conservatives have been saying this for years and we get called names and made fun of.
Sex is an expression of love. If it's used for anything else -- to try to get approval or love or to try to feel alive -- it won't feel good for either of you in the long run. You may experience a physical sensation of pleasure or an emotional high of feeling wanted or desired, but in the aftermath of sex you're likely to feel empty, lonely, and possibly used.
It is time we start telling tweens and young women (young men as well) the truth. We have mountains and mountains of cultural lies that we keep passing down to the next generation. One being that a baby is just a bunch of cells. If you think about it, we are all just a bunch of cells, granted more developed than a baby (in most cases, anyway) but nonetheless, there is no way around this, we all started that way.
We also tell girls that they can be sexually active and there is no price to pay for that. Unplanned pregnancy is no longer a big deal, get an abortion. You can always take the morning after pill, you can go to the doctor and get a shot and that will be the magic thing that keeps you from getting pregnant. We don't tell this young women what a soul killer abortion can be. The guilt and the regret that many women live with for the rest of their lives.
Do parents today still have those talks with their daughters about how boys are sometimes only looking for one thing? I know my mother had that talk with me. My mother also told me some other things that I would never repeat to another young girl. But she came from a different generation and I am the youngest child. But, I will tell you it did work with me. I have always been very conservative when it comes to certain things. There was no way on God's green earth I was going to go home and tell my parents I was pregnant. I behaved accordingly.
But we do need to get back to sending this message. While sex may feel good on any given night with any given person, long term it isn't good for you. A truly enjoyable sex life is about connecting with someone, loving someone, wanting to share yourself and your life with that person. It isn't about scratching an itch.
Most people also don't know the truth about what creates great sex. The popular message says that great sex is a function of technique and frequency, but this is a cultural lie. The truth is that great sex is a function of connection, first with yourself and then with your partner. In other words, when you feel alive inside your own skin and connected to your partner's essence, then you can meet each other sexually in a way that will feel fulfilling for both of you
The article is really about getting engaged, but it has some great lessons. Read the entire thing here.