Why the Attack on the Obama Girls Matters

Elizabeth Lauten, former PR representative for Congressman Stephen Fincher(R) of Tennessee, has resigned from her job after an facebook posting on the Obama girls went viral.  

“Dear Sasha and Malia, I get you’re both in those awful teen years, but you’re a part of the First Family, try showing a little class. At least respect the part you play. Then again your mother and father don’t respect their positions very much, or the nation for that matter, so I’m guessing you’re coming up a little short in the ‘good role model’ department. Nevertheless, stretch yourself. Rise to the occasion. Act like being in the White House matters to you. Dress like you deserve respect, not a spot at a bar. And certainly don’t make faces during televised public events.

The hashtag #fireelizabethlauten was trending on twitter for a time and this facebook post got a great deal of media attention.  It likely got way more attention that it deserved, but it did deserve some attention.  One of the things that makes me a conservative is the fact that I believe in family and family values.  I want to associate myself with those that have those same beliefs.  Now I am not saying that only conservatives have family values and that my definition of what that means is the only true definition.  I know plenty of liberals who are great parents and put a great deal of time and effort in being the best parents and want the same types of things for the next generation that I do.  But I don't believe that the democrats put family first, I think they put government first.  That I strongly disagree with and I am willing to stand up and fight against it.  I believe that putting government first gets in the way of forging strong family bonds that is a cornerstone of society.  

Do I think that losing her job was really necessary?  There is a part of me that says no, but deep down I have to say I agree with the decision of her leaving her position as the Public Relations person for a sitting congressman.  A congressman who has a section on website labeled Christian Values.  Since when did a grown PR professional attacking a 13 and 16-year-old girl become a Christian Value?  

I am getting a little sick and tired of hearing, well what about the Bush girls?  What about the Palin children?  I have written extensively on how young children of people running for high office should be off limits.  They have made no choice in the matter of what their parents do.  I have also been quite clear that I hold people who have young children running for high office with more than just a tad of suspicion.  I question the judgement of people putting their kids in that type of fishbowl.  Because that is exactly what it is.  But in any event, I don't care to play a game of tit for tat.  It is unseemly at best.  Nor does it actually solve anything.  

If the base of the GOP want the party to represent family values; which many do, then start acting like you respect them yourself.  Saying that a 13-year-old is dressed for a bar because of the length of her skirt doesn't quite have that feeling of respecting families to me.  

Politics, much like reality, is largely about perception.  The perception for Congressman Fincher is that he had a PR person that didn't care all that much for those values that he runs on.  Those values that have led him to a life a public service.  Those values that are supposed to be a guiding force in the votes that he casts not just for his own district, but those that could affect every American across the country.  

While it may not "fair" that Ms. Lauten lost her job, it is the perception of what she did that made it impossible for her to continue to work for a person that says he cares about families and Christian values.  More to the point, life isn't fair.  It never has been and it never will be. 

I don't want to people who give me lip service about those values.  I don't want people who decide that taking the moral high ground is too much work.  Yes the left goes after the children of conservatives.  David Letterman paid virtually no price for going after Willow Palin.  But David Letterman is self-employed and doesn't work for a sitting member of congress, whereas Elizabeth did.  Trying to compare the two is apples and oranges.  

If conservatives want to fight for family values, standing by a young woman who felt that is was acceptable to go after two underage teenagers isn't the way to go about it.  

Ms. Lauten will be just fine.  She will find another position.  The notoriety that she has received from this almost guarantees that.  But people justifying her behavior, and sadly some are, will only serve to give the calls of hypocrite more credence.  Actually take a stand for the values that you say you believe in, even when someone on your "side" makes an error in judgement makes an unwarranted attack on children.  If not, don't talk about your family and Christian values.  You obviously don't really mean it, it is just lip service.  This isn't about elections, this isn't about winning or losing, it is about right and wrong.  Leave underage children of politicans alone.  

A Night at The Grammy's

While this is a little late to the party, I have been seeing all the talk of what went on at The Grammy Awards on Sunday night.  Satanic rituals performed onstage by a woman who was raised in a Christian conservative home, the mass wedding performed by Queen Latifa, and Jay-Z and Beyoncé performing Drunk in Love together on stage.  

 I don't really expect anything different from Katy Perry.  It has been obvious for quite some time that she has rejected the values that her parents believe in.  That is her prerogative.  What I find insulting about it is the fact that she feels the need to publicly mock it, doing so in front of the artists who were there to see if they won awards for Gospel and Christian categories.  At least one artist got up and walked out.  Ms. Perry has the right to live her life anyway she chooses to do so, but somehow I have this feeling that she really isn't a devil worshipper and that wasn't done to get her own particular point of view across.  It was done to make people who are questioning their own belief systems to feel ashamed that they may have the audacity to think that Christianity is a good thing.  A person who is firmly set in a Christian lifestyle may be insulted by the performance, but they don't question their belief.  They simply shake their heads in disbelief and dismay.  

 Queen Latifa, and ordained minister of some kind, performed a marriage ceremony for 30 or so couples.  Some of these couples were of course same-sex couples.  Now, I would say this if all the couples were heterosexual.  The Grammy Awards is no place to get married.  This wasn't about making a lifetime commitment to another, it was about proving a political point.  That gay couples love just as much as same-sex couples.  I have never said they didn't.  A wedding and/or marriage ceremony is about is two people making a commitment to each other; for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, to remain faithful and loving for the rest of your lives.  Most people do decide to celebrate that commitment in front of their families and loved ones.  Others do it more privately.  The vast majority of people don't decide to do it because they want to the world to see their political viewpoint.  That makes a mockery of the thing that gay marriage advocates say that they are trying to accomplish.  Simple equality and the right to commit themselves to a person that they love.  What is so odd about it is that some of the lyrics that were being played out that night even talked about how marriage is more than a simple piece of paper.  If you want equality than stop acting like everyone in the world must approve of your marriage.  I have news for you, not everyone approves of all kinds of marriages.  There have been marriages that have been looked down upon since the beginning of marriage and that isn't likely to end anytime soon.  You don't need to me to like what your choices are in order for them to be the right choice for you.  I am never going to approve of gay marriage and that doesn't make your feelings and your commitment any less valid in your own life.  My religious beliefs tells me that it is wrong.  The sooner the activists get that the better off we will all be.  But of course, that would hinge upon it really being about just marriage, when for many it is not.  

 Now we can move on to Jay-Z and his lovely bride Beyoncé.  She was prancing around on stage barely dressed and moving her body in a salacious manner singing a song that included the lyrics "I can't keep my fingers off it baby, I want you".  You know, I don't really need to know what goes in the bedroom of any other couple.  I really don't.  It isn't something that interests me at all.  I have read two opposing views of this performance.  One from the very left leaning Think Progress that is basically saying that conservatives should jump at the chance of having this couple be the spokesmodels for marriage, because they make it look like fun.  

This may not be the vision of marriage conservatives intended to try to promote. And it’s absolutely a more aspirational, exciting good than the idea that marriage will discipline wayward men or provide support for women who can’t manage economically on their own. But if conservatives want to sell Americans on marriage, maybe they have to talk more about the bliss half of wedded bliss, to think about the desire part of making marriage desirable. And maybe the entertainment industry that Douthat’s singled out as the enemy of marriage has something to add to the case for marital happiness. If marriage is a product that conservatives desperately want to sell, the smartest thing they could do right now is to hire Beyoncé and Jay-Z as a product spokescouple.

Now I am far from the spokesperson for every conservative nor do I pretend to be an expert on marriage.  But I can think of no conservative that thinks that sex within the realms of a marriage is bad.  After all conservatives, especially of the social variety, tend to have much larger families.  Something must be going on in order for those babies to be coming along.  The difference is that we don't like talking about it publicly nor do we think that it is appropriate viewership for our young children for a scantily dressed woman making provocative movements while using euphemisms about a surf board.  I also am unclear of the conservative message that women should get married because they can't manage on their own.  Now the data is clear, the majority of children living in poverty are products of a single family home.  When you are married before you have children the chances of those children living below the poverty line decreases and not just a little.  That doesn't mean that conservatives are saying that women should get married simply because they need a man to support them.  You have a 70% chance of lifting yourself out of poverty if you follow three very simple things, graduate high school, do not get married before the age of 21, and do not have children out-of-wedlock.  The left leaning Brookings Institute didn't like these findings, but the finding are there nonetheless.  That is a far cry from saying that you must marry in order to support yourselves as women.  There are plenty of women who can support themselves and their children financially without the help of man, but that doesn't mean that they give a strong base for that child.  Two active parents is better for children to thrive.  

 I am not going to get into passing judgement on the marriage of that supercouple.  That is something that is between them.  He knew she was performer when he married her and apparently he has no issues with the whole "sex sells" part of her job.  He is obviously fine with it so it isn't up to me to say that it is wrong in all instances.  What I don't like is that being told that is what I am supposed to aspire to.  Sorry, but no.  In my relationship there isn't a great deal of jealousy going on, Thank God.  But somehow I don't think that me shaking my ass in a barely there outfit is part of the long-term game plan for a happy and successful relationship.  It also isn't the best role model for young children either.  But that is just some prudish conservative talking.  

What About Our Families Mr. President?

CNN has done documentaries on both Gov. Romney and President Obama.  The one for Gov. Romney I thought was well done, very fair and balanced.  The one for President Obama has not aired yet.  It will be airing tonight at 8pm.  Today in an appearance on their Sunday morning chat show, Jessica Yellin revealed that President Obama has not done more outreach to republicans because he wants to spend more time at home as a family.  I give him a great deal of credit for wanted to be a hands on dad.  That is a wonderful thing.  I mean that sincerely.  He brought those two girls into the world and he is responsible for them.  They deserve to have a childhood.

I was given more than a little grief when I stuck up for Malia's trip to Mexico last year.  Malia and Sasha go to a private school that is very involved in social justice.  Once you reach middle school there is a week called minimester, the week before spring break, no classroom work is done.  You spend the week doing community service.  Every year the school does some of that community service oversees.  Malia went on the oversees trip to Mexico.  Many on the right went crazy, calling it a waste of tax payer money.  My opinion all along was that she had the right to her childhood without the media glare and people who have never met her or care about her making decisions about her life.

I also took a great deal of crap for saying that I didn't think that Sarah Palin should have run for president this year.  I feel that Trig and Piper are too young to be in that type of fishbowl.  I firmly believe this.  People that have very young children should not be in The White House.  Simple things, such as trick or treating become next to impossible with the amount of security that is involved.  I said this about President Obama four years ago.  His daughters are too young.

I am sorry Mr. President, if being a hands on dad was the priority for you at this point in your life, you should not have run for president.   We didn't come to you.   You worked hard at convincing people who you should be one to get that job.  You announced for president in February 07, a full 21 months before the election.  Your youngest child Sasha was only 5 years old at the time.  You didn't think then that you needed to be home evenings and weekends?

Again, I applaud the fact that he wants to be there for his children in a way his own father was not for him.  Wonderful.  But, Mr. President what about our children?  We have had high unemployment since you have taken office.  People have lost their homes.  People are working two-part times jobs to make ends meet, because they can't find a full-time position.  Poverty is rising around the country.  People on some form of government entitlements is at an all time high.

The job of president is 7/24/365 position.  You are always on call.  Everything that you and your family does is put under a microscope.  Your privacy is limited as your schedule is reported daily.  We have the right Mr. President to someone who is going to put all of his energies into the job.  I am sorry, but the job of president doesn't leave much time for a private life.  If you wanted a private life, you should have chosen another position.  While it is unfair, I don't care about your families needs.  I care about my own.  Your promises to the people during your campaign was that you were going to change the acrimony that goes on in Washington.  You were going change the tone, do things differently.  You never mentioned during that time that you wouldn't be going out and doing what needed to be done because you would rather spend time playing video games or whatever you do during your family hours.

I stand by my past comments of people with young children not running for President.  It isn't fair to the children, and it isn't fair to me.  You have spent the last four years saying that the republicans wouldn't work with you, they have been nothing by obstructionists.  Well, Mr. President it takes two to tango.  It is such a shame that your dance card was full.

Even Jessica Yellin at CNN asked:

“If this was such a priority, why didn’t he do it? You can carve out one night a week to go out and socialize and reach across the aisle.”

Apparently not.  I am sorry, but this comment shows full well why this man doesn't deserve re-election.  Our families are far less important than his own.  He begged for this job, the least he could have done was made an attempt to do what was necessary to do it well.

A Tribute to Father's. Allan Houston on the Importance of Fathers in the lives of children.

Men have been left out of the equation when it comes to fatherhood.  We live in a society where we are told that biology doesn't make a family, and women are perfectly capable of being wonderful single parents.  Both of those statements are true, to an extent.  But that doesn't change the need that children have for a father figure.  Study after study has shown that children do better in a happy two parent home.

The Cleavers don't exist.  It would be nice if they did, but they don't.  I don't think it is healthy for a child to watch day in and day out a unhappy marriage and two parents that fight constantly.  But we need to get to the point again that we discuss that fathers do matter.  They matter a great deal.

On this father's day I thought there is no better tribute than to talk about a man who is putting his money where his mouth is.  He is the father of seven so he knows of what he speaks.  He knows that his father was a good part of the reason for the success he has had in his life.  He wants other children and fathers to experience that.  This is so needed in the black community especially.  7 out 10 kids are born to single mothers.  The black father has been made irrelevant in our society.  That needs to change.

It doesn't hurt that I am long-suffering Knicks fan.  Read about his foundation here.

Fame, Fortune, & Priorities

Adele, the young singer who won six grammy's Sunday night, told Vogue that she planned on taking five years off in order to be happy:

 "I am [bleeping] off for four or five years ... If I am constantly working, my relationships fail. So at least now I can have enough time to write a happy record."

I doubt she will actually walk away for that long, but at least she understands that if she is to have a happy and fufilling personal life, she has to put in the work. 

So she has a good head on her shoulders as well as an amazing voice.  Let's hope she is able to keep it in the crazy world of the music business. 

Here is her Grammy performance from Sunday night.  Enjoy!!!

Family Time and Summer Movies in DC

Every year DC has free movies under the stars (or clouds in this week's  case).  Thursday the movie was E.T.  Believe it or not, I had never seen it.  But, it is good wholesome family fun that is free. 

Picnicking down by the river and watching a movie under the stars is part of the summer here in D.C.

The Blind Side and Dirty Dancing were postponed due to bad weather and will replay at the end.  Most of the movies are kid friendly.  So if you in DC and free on a Thursday night join me for a night at the movies.  Just bring some bug spray and a blanket and you are good to go.  It is great way to create some memories for your kids.  Parking has been easy to find so far. 

Et Tu, Stacy McCain

I was up even earlier than usual today as I had to get everything ready for the trip down to the Lincoln Memorial for the most amazing sunrise service on Easter Sunday.  After the services, the annual Easter Egg hunt (or should I say spring sphere) took place, then the very large breakfast commenced.  The pancakes with fresh blueberries and heated syrup and the Eggs Benedict were both made to perfection if I don't mind saying so myself.  After a few hours of Nerf darts to wear off the rare treat of chocolate in the morning all has settled down.


I have been thinking about a post I read early this morning on The Other McCain that originally started over a ridiculous OP-ED piece on how all Fraternities should be closed down as they only encourage young college aged males to rape young woman.  But that is post for another time. 


Stacy then found his way to an article about how many women get married anyway even though their gut is telling them something else.  An article in Marie Clare talked about how much of this has to do with the fairy tales we tell our young daughters and as they grow they watch the romantic comedies that come out of our Hollywood culture saying that love conquers all. 


While much of Stacy is discussing is the personal responsibility that is being taken away and this article is creating almost a victimhood mentality of young women due to these influences that most young women grow up with.  What Stacy has completely overlooked is the culture that we have created for not only ourselves but for our young girls.  Divorce is the answer. 


We no longer have the reason to make our marriages work.  We no longer have the reasons to listen to our guts as we are waiting to walk down the aisle and that little voice is saying RUN AS FAST YOU CAN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.  We can simply go through the motions because for a relatively small amount of money and short waiting time we can just start over.  The divorce rate in our society is far too high. 

43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. And in 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male).

Stacy asked the question:
. 

Amanda Clark got a $15,000 gown and a 7-carat ring, and she still wasn’t happy, so whose fault is that?

Was it really the fault of her husband being the Wrong Guy? To believe that, you must believe that somewhere out there is the Right Guy, ready and eager to wed Amanda Clark, except for the fact that she goofed up and married the Wrong Guy. But shouldn’t we at least consider the alternative hypothesis, that Amanda Clark was to some extent responsible for the failure of her own marriage? Isn’t it possible that she was the Wrong Woman?

It may be that Amanda is the wrong woman, but what is also possible is that Amanda  didn't care that he was the wrong guy, because she could just get that quickie no fault divorce and find the "right guy".  Part of the lie that feminist movement has hoisted on our young females (and males for that matter) is that divorce is so common that it has almost become a right of passage, and if you are being made to feel that you are not being understood or are not reaching your potential in all your glorious womanhood you can get up and walk away, it isn't that big of a deal.  Self fulfillment is the far more superior objective than actually taking your time and marrying the right person
I am not trying to say that people are not making a difficult choice or that they don't even attempt to work on a marriage, but the divorce rates being as high as they are we must ask ourselves what makes one go through with a marriage if you are not feeling right about from day one?  Marriage is very hard work.  You have to compromise, you have to give up some things that at one point in your life you considered very important.  You have to put your spouses feelings at least as high on the totem pole that you put your own.  You also must accept the fact that it isn't going to be rosy each and every day.  You will go through patches that are painful and you must be honest about that pain and the causes of it.  You also have to realize that all those habits that you think are so cute before you get married aren't really all that cute after you live them everyday year after year.  The things that bother you before the wedding only become more pronounced after the big day.  We become even more ourselves.  You have to work on your marriage like divorce isn't an option.  That is very hard work indeed. 


What I am saying is that our society feeds the idea that marriage the first time around is just a test run and if your fulfillment in your womanhood is being threatened the answer is divorce.  Stacy questions if we woman are asking the question is it us.  It isn't that women don't ask is it us, but it is that women are being told even if it us this doesn't feel good and doesn't fit the narrative that we can indeed have it all, we then can just have a start over.  Even Stacy didn't ask the question of how damaging the woman's rights movement has been.  So I must ask, Et Tu Stacy, Et Tu? 

Herman Cain on Why He is Running for President

This is why this man is so awesome!!! 



H/T to Fuzzi

Some Hard Truths - Single Mothers

New statistics are out on single mothers.  It seems that the vast majority of them are not teenagers as many would have you believe.  In general the rate is 40%, higher in black and Hispanic communities.  Almost three quarters of single mothers fall into the age range of 18-29. 

What these numbers are really telling us is that marriage is no longer the norm in our country.  We are on the march of making the family unit irrelevant in this country.  Which is a truly alarming.  When babies are born to single mothers they are far more likely to live below the poverty line and usually will be in need for public assistance.  Not only is this a drain on our limited resources it also is damaging to the child. Children living  near or below the poverty line are far less likely to do well in school or attend college.  Both of which will only continue the cycle of poverty. 

The report also finds that young women who become pregnant out of wedlock are not doing it due to the lack of access to birth control.  The pregnancies are planned.  Sadly, in lower income neighborhoods marriage has become virtually obsolete.  This is a disturbing trend that is only increases as time goes by. 

The more we dismiss the meaning of marriage the more our children suffer.  While it is true that sometimes even with your best efforts marriage just doesn't work out for two people.  But, many are just forgoing the entire institution from the get-go.  In many cases when a woman has a child out of wedlock the father is not involved in the raising of the child.  Again, this is another reason that children will live below the poverty line. 

The government spends a small fortune giving money to Planned Parenthood.  By law that money is supposed to be used for health exams and to subsidize birth control for woman in lower income brackets.  It seems that is a waste of tax payer dollars as the women are not attempting to stop pregnancy.  Yet, with the numbers of single mothers the government does what it always does and throws more money at the problem without really examining what the problem is. 

What we need to do is start promoting marriage and the family unit in this country.  The numbers speak for themselves.  Children who grow up in a two parent family are more likely to graduate from high school and go onto to college and not depend on public resources.  Family time is very important to children; the simple act of eating together as a family at least twice a week shows to improve the academic performance of that child. 

But the promotion of traditional family values has become almost a taboo in our ever increasing politically correct society.  We keep asking the question of what constitutes a family instead of promoting the values and virtues that the traditional family offers to young children.  Of course love is one of the most important things you give to child, but most children are looking for love from both parents, not just the single mom.  I am not saying that single moms can't do a good job raising her children, because many certainly do. 

But why are we not talking about virtues of marriage in lower income areas?  This is something that Bill Cosby brought up some years back and in return he was attacked for it.  Far too many in lower income black and Hispanic communities have turned their back on marriage all together and the children are paying the steepest price.  The poverty levels become institutionalized, education is looked on as something that someone else gets, and the crime rates continue to climb as drug dealing and gangs look like the only way out of the life they were born into. 

One of the best things that you can give your children is stable home that is filled with love.  The traditional family may not be the only way to provide that, but it certainly helps. 


H/T to The Other McCain

Cross posted at Potluck