What Those Calling Bruce "Call Me Caitlyn" Jenner Brave Seem to Forget

Bruce Jenner has made his long-awaiting appearance to the world as woman.  She is now Caitlyn Jenner, thank you very much.  I want to make perfectly clear at the onset, I couldn't care less what she/he does.  It isn't my business. 
 
What my concern in this matter is are the calls of bravery and courageous.  I take issue with those words.  Not because of his surgery (if he is even going full board on the surgery, as I am not sure if that is the plan or not). 
 
I am more than willing to accept the idea that transgender people have brain issues.  It is scientific fact that a woman and man have different brain wiring.  I can't remember which is which, but one is more wired left to right and the other is front to back.  It is very possible that a transgender person has the wiring of the other sex.  Studies have shown that postmortem brains show differences in people who self identify as a transgender person.  The human brain is a mysterious thing that in truth we know very little about. 
 
Maybe it is a "mental illness" as some call it.  But, most mental illnesses are issues with brain function.  So it is possible that both things can be true.  I don't know, and quite honestly I don't care.  Caitlyn Jenner is free to do as she pleases. 
 
I get what people who are throwing the words "brave" and "courageous" around are trying to say.  Caitlyn may help other who are dealing with the same issues down the road.  That is great I suppose. 
 
What bothers me about the use of the words is that if you really take a look at the whole picture, it isn't really that at all. 
 
I fully admit I didn't watch his (If I am not mistaken, that was the pronoun to use at the time) entire interview.  But, I did watch parts of it.  I did hear him talk about how he felt this way as a young child.  I did hear him talk about this was the reason his first two marriages ended.  Ok, he married the first time.  I might even be willing to throw in the second marriage as part of his confusion in his identity.  But I draw the line at the third marriage. 
 
He talked about how he started taking female hormones at the end of second marriage.  He looked into getting surgery and living as woman back in the late 80's.  He then met his third wife.  He stopped taking the hormones and got married.  That is selfish, not brave or courageous. 
 

 Probably a mistake I made was maybe not having her understand,'

Probably?  I think Ms. Caitlyn needs to change that to definitely.   

"I wasn't as fair as I should've been to the women I married. I've apologised to everybody. I've apologised my entire life."

What would have been courageous and brave was to live your life without dragging innocent people into it.  As a man, he fathered six children.  4 of whom he freely admits he was an absentee father to.  Now they are dealing with the fact that their father is a woman.  As any child would, the love they feel for their dad outweighs the confusion and other emotions that they must be feeling.  Every child wants their parents to be happy.  But was it fair to them?  I don't think so. 

"Kris is a good woman, I got no complaints with her. Honestly, if she had been really good with it, understanding, we'd still be together."

It is brave to expect a woman who married a man to be ok with becoming a woman in a lesbian relationship with her husband who is now her wife?

I'm no fan of the Kardashian clan, but I don't see how anyone can blame her for wanting a divorce.  She has children with this man who is now a woman.  For the sake of her children she needs to do what she can to be accepting.  I can't believe that I am saying this, but she is far more brave.  Imagine how hurtful it must be to the spouse of someone who comes to you and says, hey I am not happy with my gender and would like to get my penis cut off, get a breast implant, and live as woman.  Most people would want a divorce in that case.  My understanding is that he did tell her some time ago.  But again, he married her.  He had children with her.  He was a father figure to her children from her first marriage, especially after the death of their own father. 

"Call Me Caitlyn" Jenner isn't brave.  He had the opportunity decades ago to be that.  But instead he dragged another family into his issues.  Brought more children into the world to deal with the aftermath of his issues and dragged yet one more woman into a marriage.  He did this because he wasn't brave enough to be who he believed he should be.  From his own words he knew this for more than sixty years before he did this.  He created a mess and expects them all to happy about it, because he is now ready to be who he/she should have been all along. 

As I said, I have no problem with someone deciding for themselves to change genders.  Whatever.  There is plenty of science to back up that this is an issue with brain function.  I also fully get that at the time of his first marriage, it would have been difficult at best to be openly transgendered.  But, by the time he was in marriage number three that was no longer the case.  Yes, there is hate towards transgender people.  They suffer abuse from not only their families, but others who find them disgusting.  But there are plenty out in the world that are accepting, this would be especially true had he lived a more private life instead of a very public one. 

The State Uses it Power to Remove Child from a Medical Marijuana Activist

There certainly isn't a shortage of things to worry about when it comes to our out-of-control government, and it is becoming abundantly clear that we can add CPS to the list.  In the past many of the complaints have been about them not doing enough to protect children when it is clear that children are living in unsafe environments.  The answer that came from the agency was almost always the lack of funds and staff to handle the case loads.  It seems that has been taken care of. 

In Kansas, there is a medical marijuana activist by the name Shonda Banda.  She has Crohn's Disease.  It is a very painful digestive problem that causes severe cramping, among other things to its victims.  She uses cannabis oil to help with her pain.  In Kansas marijuana is illegal in all circumstances.  She is working to change that.  

One day the school her son attends gave a class on drug use.  Since his mother is an activist, one can imagine that this little boy understands the ins and outs of the issue.  During this discussion her son made statements when he believed the information that was being told to the class was incorrect.  This raised the hackles of the counselors.  They called the CPS, who then called the cops.  

They show up at the school, take the little boy out of his class to question him.  They did not call either parent to get permission to talk to an 11 year-old-boy.  

After her son spoke out about medical marijuana, police detained him and launched a raid on Shona Banda’s home. “Well, they had that drug education class at school that was just conducted by the counselors… They pulled my son out of school at about 1:40 in the afternoon and interrogated him. Police showed up at my house at 3… I let them know that they weren’t allowed in my home without a warrant… I didn’t believe you could get a warrant off of something a child says in school.” Banda continued, “We waited from 3 o’clock until 6 o’clock. They got a warrant at 6 o’clock at night and executed a warrant into my home. My husband and I are separated, and neither parent was contacted by authorities before [our son] was taken and questioned.”

They found a small amount of cannabis oil in her home.  With the amount being as small as it is, obviously it is for personal use.  She isn't a drug dealer.  She uses a substance that helps her deal with chronic pain.  For this, she has lost her child.  

She has been charged with no crime, yet she still must go into court to prove that she should still have custody of her child.  You can feel that pot, even for medicinal use, should remain illegal, and realize how wrong this is.  

There is no proof that this child was being given an illegal substance.  The boy simply understands the issues surrounding the use of medicinal pot.  That isn't a crime.  That isn't child abuse.  

The State of Kansas has done nothing to "protect" this child, they have done quite the opposite.  This child has been harmed by the very agency that is supposed to help him in cases of abuse and neglect.  When we have a government that is so large that it can walk into a classroom of a child, question him without parental permission, then use those statements of a child to get a warrant to get into the home of the parent, we have a government that is too powerful.  

This child has been harmed more by the state than anything his mother has done.  That is something that shouldn't be allowed to stand.  

The Race Pimps Who Let Anthony Stokes Down

Anthony Stokes was killed in a car crash.  He was driving a stolen car and was being chased by police.  This normally wouldn't make national news, but Anthony Stokes had health problems that put him in the national spotlight two years ago.  

As a 15-year-old he was diagnosed with severe heart problems that could not be taken care of with medicine.  His only chance of survival was heart transplant.  Initially the hospital said he didn't qualify for the transplant by the protocol in place.  He was listed as "non-complaint".  

Race groups ran to his defense once his mother talked to the media.  Stokes, according to his mother, was turned down do behavioral issues.  He had some problems in school as well as problems with the law.  While his records as juvenile are sealed, the family admitted he had some issues with violence.  This of course turned into a race thing.  From Think Progress

Regardless of Anthony’s specific past, his story fits into a larger pattern of racially-motivated skepticism about young black men. The routine criminalization of black youth — thanks in large part to the so-called “school-to-prison pipeline,” which funnels a disproportionate number of black teens into the justice system for minor infractions — ensures that teens like Anthony are often seen as threats. And once society labels those kids as criminal, suspect, or “non-compliant,” their lives are typically considered to have less value.

Now the hospital never publicly commented on their decision, as they cannot due to HIPPA.  So we only have the word of the mother of what that meant.  She herself said that the worry was that he wouldn't do the proper follow-ups and take his meds in a timely fashion.  Which if you know anyone that has had an organ transplant are vital to long-term survival.  

The real tragedy of this story, besides the loss of a young man, is that people who ran to defense were no where to found once he was given the heart transplant.  Where were the race baiters who cried for the injustice once the camera's went away?  The SPLC were all to willing to stand in front of the camera to use that young man for a political talking point.  But after the heart transplant was completed he lost his usefulness.  

If they are standing up and talking about how #blacklivesmatter why weren't they giving the support that teenager so obviously needed?  Where were his parents to help keep him on track?  I realize that every child that goes wrong isn't a direct relation to parenting skills. While growing up I knew a girl whose older siblings both became doctors and she was hell on wheels.  Some children, regardless of the circumstances of their upbringing, turn out differently than what people would expect.  But in many cases the children that do go wrong at a young age are doing so because they don't have proper role models and a family unit that is functional.  

The young man was given a second chance at life with his heart transplant.  But he wasn't given a second chance to live that life in a way that honored the donor.  He was a political tool and talking point about how this country doesn't care about young black men.  While the SPLC did indeed give him a name of therapist to help him with the transition after his surgery, they did no follow-up to make sure he was actually attending.  

This is one of the reasons that I can't take these race pimps seriously. When the camera is on, they are right there to soak in their time in the media glare.  But when the media hype dies down and the real work that needs to be done is beckoning, they are nowhere to be found.  

I am certainly not excusing the young man, he made the choices that resulted in his death, but he isn't the only one that deserves the blame.  If the race baiters want to say that black lives matter, then they need to be in the trenches and reach out to the at risk kids that are so selfishly using to increase their own coffers.  

When the black community finally has enough of the people who are using them for their own ends, maybe they will see some progress.  But until then, stop telling me that I don't think black lives matter, when you can't do something as simple as making a follow-up phone call to see if the kid ever bothered to show up for the therapist.  Stop telling me that the mother, who had no problem going in front of the camera for guilt shaming the hospital into changing protocol for surgery couldn't do anything when the red flags were appearing everywhere, including another arrest in January of this year.  That is the time that she should have gone back in front of the media and shamed all the race baiters who said they wanted her son to have a chance at a better life but simply walked away when the real work had to be done.  

Getting the transplant was the easy part.  That isn't what was going to give him a second chance at life.  The second chance was seeing the error of his ways and living a life away from crime.  That was going to take real work and dedication outside of the spotlight.  That was the time to show that black lives matter.  It is a shame that no one bothered to show up.  

A Career Woman Answers the Question Does a Hard Working Dad Feel Guilt & Doesn't Even Know She Did

I was reading this article from Good Housekeeping titled I'm 99% Mom and 1% Wife: And It Has to be That Way.  Really?  It has to be this way?  I don't think it does nor should it be that way.  

I put John last, pretty much all the time. And it's not like he's a bad guy — far from it. He does the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, makes the kids' lunches, even braids my daughter's hair. He often compliments me, and regularly asks if we can go away, alone, for a weekend, or at least out to lunch.

I tell him I have no time for leisurely lunches, let alone two entire days away. I can't be bothered to figure out who is going to take care of our kids, pack, unpack, then scramble getting ready for Monday morning.

What kind of marriage is that?  Now I realize that feminists have, over the years, made marriage seem like a bad thing, but why even bother to keep pretending you have a marriage if this is truly how you feel?  

It is very hard to keep a marriage going after the kiddos come along.  The more you have, the more time the kids will take up.  But, that doesn't mean you don't get to behave like being a spouse is unimportant. 

While I think many people think the skill sets for being a parent and being a spouse are pretty much the same, they are also very different.  Your children should be enhancing your marriage, not causing you to ignore it.   

She goes on:

I've spoken this sentence to John. "Let me be clear: If I have to choose between you or one of the kids, you will lose every time. Do you have a problem with that?"

No why would he?  It isn't like he is their father and loves just as much as she does.  

I put John last, pretty much all the time. And it's not like he's a bad guy — far from it. He does the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, makes the kids' lunches, even braids my daughter's hair. He often compliments me, and regularly asks if we can go away, alone, for a weekend, or at least out to lunch.

I tell him I have no time for leisurely lunches, let alone two entire days away. I can't be bothered to figure out who is going to take care of our kids, pack, unpack, then scramble getting ready for Monday morning.

But she is the main breadwinner.  

For most of the last 10 years, I've been the breadwinner. I worked long hours commuting into Manhattan full-time. Now, John has a job, but I still commute, and also work from home trying to keep us ahead of the bills.

My older son is in college, and I will save him from student loans or die trying. My younger son has some special needs, and keeping him on track is a full-time job. My daughter, like any 11-year-old girl, wants her mom to listen, to watch, to help. The clock is ticking on her innocence, and I dare not miss a second of what's left of it.

I am tired, and I am worried. Worried there won't be enough. Enough money, enough luck, enough time, enough of me. John's a great dad, but I play a singular role in each of my kid's lives. And as they've grown, the urgency to get it right screams at me, day and night.

It sounds like that John was a stay at home for a period of time.  So that makes her comments even more shocking.  By that I mean isn't it feminists that keep harping on this stupid theory that some how men who are out working don't get what it is like to have the responsibility of home life and the female gets stuck with all those roles?  In this family the roles are reversed.  He is the one doing the day to day, yet she still realizes that a mom and a dad have different roles in the life of a child.  Their expectations of what they want from them are different.  

She has taken on the traditional role of the man in her family, yet isn't happy that she has to worry about the money being enough, the time being enough, the kids getting enough. 

No matter what your particular family dynamic is, there is guilt either way.  This woman has answered those questions for feminists without realizing she has done it.  It is strangely and sadly comical.  

The main breadwinner who is out working feels guilt.  They too wish they had more time to be a more active and involved parent and spouse.  But there is only so much to go around, so they take shortcuts and prioritize what works best for them.  

There are no easy ways to navigate marriage and parenthood.  But ignoring your spouse and putting your marriage on the back-burner you are doing your children no favors.  They aren't seeing a healthy relationship  By thinking that having a big Christmas with every little thing they ask for under the tree will make up for the shortcomings of not being around, the only person you're deluding is yourself.  

This woman may be a much happier person as well as a both a better parent and spouse if she realizes that providing all the material things isn't nearly as important as giving of yourself.  Forgo some of the extra Christmas and birthday gifts.  Let your kids take on a little of the responsibility of paying for college, or send them to a community college for two years.  You can spend your money in different ways and not feel this burden to "have it all".  

To John, you obviously love your wife and children very much.  One day they are going to read this article and fully understand what it means; and they will love you all the more.  

The Further Criminalization of Your Parental Choices

Danielle and Alexander Meitiv were recently investigated by the police and child welfare for allowing their two children, aged 10 and 6, to walk home from the park without them.  The walk is approximately one mile in length.  A person, who very likely thought they were doing a good deed, saw the children and called the police.  
The Meitiv's live in Silver Spring, Maryland, a suburb of Washington, DC.  The law in Maryland states that a child under the age of 8 cannot be home alone without someone who is at least 13-years-old.  It says nothing about being outside of your home.  But that didn't stop the police.  Now, I want to be clear, the police aren't really to blame here.  They were called.  They had to respond.  They followed the law, as is their job.  With children they are also most likely obligated to contact Child Protective Services.  

Child Protective Services were contacted and came to check out the parents and the safety of the children.  When CPS arrived at their home, they were interrogated and told not to allow the children out alone unsupervised.  They were told that they were being investigated for neglect.  They were basically told do as your told, or your children will be taken away.  

CPS has finished their investigation and the outcome is "unsubstantiated child neglect".  Whatever the heck that really means I'm not sure, but for these parents they are now in the cross hairs of CPS for the next five years.  That is not a typo.  For the next five years, they will be continually monitored for child abuse.  Insert primal scream here.  

It matters none if you agree with their parenting style, known as Free Range Parenting.  It matters none if you would feel safe letting your children walk a mile on their own.  What matters is do you want the state to have this type of power over your choices as a parent?  

Now, when I was kid I was not driven to my middle school on a daily basis. Unless the weather was bad, we walked.  I can't tell you how long of a walk that was, but I figure it had to be at least a mile, if not a little more.  I also walked through a wooded area when I did it.  I did this twice a day for three years.  I grew up in one of the few states that allows you to have your late in the year birthday kids start school when they are four, if you choose.  My mother did make that choice because I already knew how to read and she felt I was ready.  That means I was ten when I started middle school.  So was my mother guilty of neglect when I was walking to school?  I guess I might have thought so at the time if it was snowing or raining out.   

Here are the facts, the rates of children being abducted by strangers is down by more than 35%.  A child is in much more danger of being in accident while you are driving them to school instead of letting them walk.  Do we start telling parents who drive their kids to school are guilty of neglect because the odds are far greater of being hurt than they are if they walked instead?  

Parents need to let children grow, mature, and learn responsibility.  How each parent chooses to do that is going to vary.  But it is part and parcel of the parenting experience.  Today, we are seeing more and more parents who are constantly on top of their children.  The so-called helicopter parents.  The parents who are so engaged with their children and their activities that we hear stories about them involving themselves in the job interview process.  

Government is getting larger and larger.  It is getting more and more intrusive.  A government that can swoop in and decide that a parent isn't allowed to make a choice about a short walk home from the park is a government that is way too large.  A government that now has the right to investigate these parents for the next five years is a government that I don't want.  

I am not sure I would let a ten and six-year-old walk a mile on their own.  I lived outside of Washington, DC for many years.  I know the Silver Spring area fairly well.  The children were walking on Georgia Avenue, it is a major roadway that normally has a great deal of traffic.  But what I don't know is the maturity levels of these children.  There will be ten-year-olds that are very likely ready for that walk.  
But I do know that I don't think that act alone is a good enough reason for this family to be investigated continuously for the next five years.  Has anyone thought that these children are going to become distrustful of police now?  How is that a good thing?  

These children have learned a valuable lesson.  A government that is large can do almost anything.  I hope they carry this with them into adulthood.  

Just In Case You Were Unclear of NJ Teen Motives in Suing Her Parents

Oh my.  Ms. Rachel posted this on her Facebook fan page.  Education for Rachel.

“Suburban baby boomer types are the spoiled lot, they make massive amount of money a year, they are used to flying to luxury destinations when they want, and buy things that they don’t need, people should be inclined to see things Rachel’s way.  We have been stunned by the financial greed of modern parents who are more concerned with retiring into some fantasy world rather than provide for their children’s college and young adult years. In today’s economy there are no more meaningful jobs and without family help it’s usually military or bust. We see parents like this every day, children were always an accessory to them and nothing more, once that accessory grew up and went out of fashion, much like a marriage that people allegedly commit to, the child becomes a throwaway, that’s just how it is.”

Really?  How dare parents save for retirement?  What kind of monsters are they?  Go ahead and read the page, it is all me, me, me, and more me.  She talks about herself in the third person.

She may have legal standing with her college fund as they are usually set up in the child's name, but apparently that isn't enough for this young woman.  She wants 100% of education funded.  It just amazes that the adults in her life are funding not only this behavior, but this mindset.  What are these parents teaching their own children?  I guess if one of this family's kids commits a crime they can use the Affluenza defense.

I do have one question for Ms. Rachel, if there are no more meaningful jobs why bother to spend the money on an education, you can just then sue for your family to support the rest of your life, right?  Oh yeah, you want to party for a few years.

When Does Your Job as Parent End? New Jersey Teen Suing for Parents to Pay College Tuition

Rachel Canning, an 18-year-old senior in a private Catholic high school has filed suit in Superior Court in New Jersey to pay back bills on her high school tuition and to give her access to her college fund.  Rachel turned 18 last fall.  After her 18th birthday she moved in with the family of her best friend (whose father happens to be an attorney who is funding this lawsuit).  She has been attending school since that time and is an honor student.

Her parents claim that she wasn't following the rules of the household.  They say she wasn't doing her chores, wasn't coming home by her set curfew, was disrespectful, didn't treat her sisters very well, and there seems to be an issue with a boyfriend that her parents don't particularly care for.  They believe he is a "bad influence".

Sean Canning said that a DCP&P representative visited his home for about three hours last fall, found nothing amiss, determined that Rachel was “spoiled” and discontinued the investigation. He said that he and his wife are beside themselves that discord with their daughter has reached this level.

Attorney Laurie Rush-Masuret, who represents the parents, said in court papers that Rachel emancipated herself and removed herself from her parent’s “sphere of influence” by voluntarily moving out of their house “as she did not want to abide by her parents’ rules....”

Rush-Masuret and Sean Canning said that Rachel was seeing a therapist long before moving out and is supposed to take medication. The parents contend she had disciplinary problems at school last term, was suspended twice, ignored her curfew at home and bullied her younger sister.

This in many ways boils down to our house, our rules.  Virtually every young adult has heard that coming from at least one of their parents.  But how far does the responsibility of parenting go once the child has turned of legal age?  She is still in high school so it does seem fair to me that her parents pay the back tuition of the school they had her enrolled in before this incident took place.  That seem very reasonable to me.  But she kind of loses me when it comes to the college education.

No parent should be forced to pay for a college education.  Has that become a "right" now as well?  My parents didn't pay for mine.  My mother was from a generation that believed that girls didn't need to go to college.  She has since realized that is not true in the world we live in today, but when I was in high school and college, she firmly believed that.  Should I have taken her to court to try to get money?  That seems more than just a little absurd to me.

We don't know the details of what happened.  This is going to come down to the parents word against hers.  I am sure they will both be able to find witnesses that can testify to their version of the story.  It then leaves a judge to decide is it really the parents responsibility to support an adult while they are in college if they don't want to?

It seems that New Jersey law may be on her side:

The mere fact that a child has turned 18 is not an automatic reason to stop financial support, according to Helfand and several longtime family attorneys in Morris County. A key court decision in the state specifies that, “A child’s admittance and attendance at college will overcome the rebuttable presumption that a child may be emancipated at age 18.”

Prominent family-law attorneys Sheldon Simon and William Laufer both called the lawsuit highly unusual and Laufer said he has seen nothing like it in 40 years of practice.

“A child is not emancipated until they’re on their own,” Simon said. “Even if a child and the parents don’t get along, that doesn’t relieve the parents of their responsibility.” Laufer noted that under New Jersey law, a child can still be declared nonemancipated even if there is a hiatus between high school graduation and college.

So let me get this straight, a child turns 18, the legal age of adulthood in this country, finishes high school, hangs out for a year or two doing heavens knows what, decides to go back to college and then should be expected to remain a child and stay the financial responsibility of the parent?  Got it.

Is it any wonder that people today are leaning more and more to nanny state government?  Now it could be that this law was designed for purposes of getting student loans.  If the child is still dependent on the parent for financial support, then the parents income is what grants and loans for college is based upon.  Most will likely receive more aid if they are nonemanicpated.  But in any case, it is still telling an adult that someone else is responsible for your life, your finances, and your choices.  I have no problem saying that to a parent who is under the age of 18 or still in high school.  But when do we draw the line, legally speaking?

A parent that has a child that they feel is disrespectful and acting like a spoiled brat may have very good reason for saying hey honey, you are on your own.  You made these decisions now you live with the consequences of them.  The parents in this case have kept the car that they bought for their daughter.  They also say that they have done nothing with the college fund that they had set up for her and that she will have access to it.

It will be very interesting to see how this case plays out.  Ms. Rachel should consider herself very lucky that I won't be making this decision for her.  Her parents don't owe her that college fund.  They did that because they wanted to, not because they "had" to.  It isn't the responsibility of the parent to pay for a college education.  If they want to and can help that is wonderful, but it certainly isn't something that is a "right" or should be forced by the rule of law.  The parents should pay the remaining tuition of her high school education.  After that, their job is done.  A college education can be had when the parents don't pay for it, I am living proof of that.

Open Letter to Amy Glass

Amy Glass, who I am assuming is a feminist, wrote a blog post entitled I look down on Young Women With Husbands and Kids and I'm Not Sorry.  Now, I think that she and I agree that not every person, whether it be man or woman should become a spouse, let alone a parent.  Neither of these tasks are easy and some people just don't have the capabilities of doing it well.  She seems to think that getting married and having children is the easiest thing in the world:

 Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average. And here’s the thing, why on earth are we settling for average?

If these things were so easy why do we see the skyrocketing rates of people using dating sites and fertility clinics?  Yes, it is the easiest thing in the world to go out and date and find that person who actually makes your life feel more complete.  The person you can be totally honest with, even when you know they aren't going to like what you have to say is the easiest thing in the world to find.  I mean just open up your front door and the lines of people to choose from is a massive one.  

 I would love for her to go and say that to woman who has health problems that make it impossible for her to conceive.  Go talk to the couples who spend virtually their entire life savings to have fertility treatments to make the dream of being a parent come true and see what they have to say.  Once they get done slapping her silly they may have calmed down enough to laugh in her face.  Getting pregnant would seem like an easy task, but for many it is Mission Impossible.  Go sit with a woman who is doing everything under the sun to get pregnant when her period arrives and watch the tears and the feelings of inadequacy that she haunted by. Talk to a man who finds out his swimmers don't do the job that God and biology intended them to do.  Many men that I know that are having problems conceiving don't want to get tested, even though the test for the man is much more simple, straightforward, and far less invasive.  

 Go and talk to the woman who does want to be married and have a family but is in her thirties and tell her it is an easy task that "literally anyone can do them".  Some people who remain unmarried aren't that way by choice.  That is their reality and they eventually make the best of it, or one would hope.  Many married couples that don't have children, aren't childless by choice.  That is the fate they were dealt and become the best Aunties and Uncles that they can be to their siblings and friends kids.  

  You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.

What makes her think that women without a husband and children are exceptional?  I work with a woman who was never married nor did she have children.  She works two jobs and barely supports herself.  She is on public assistance in the form of food stamps.  She is bitter woman who is angry, especially when she says out loud that most of her problems she created for herself with the choices she made in life.  The simple act of not getting married and becoming a parent isn't an automatic entry into the world of exceptionalism.  

 Is a woman who gives up  on the idea of marriage and family to become a professional woman automatically exceptional?  Say this woman is the VP of marketing for some large international firm and is really good at her job but has no family to share this with as she ages more exceptional than the stay at home mom who raised a child to become one of those teachers.  You know the one that I am talking about.  The teacher that really affects a child and helps that child see something in themselves that they wouldn't have otherwise.  We all had that teacher.  I know in my case I had several.  The most remarkable thing about that teacher is that they didn't just give that light to one child, they gave it to many.  One of my high school reunions just recently passed, I am not going to say which one, but one of my "that teacher" attended the get together.  Just judging by the people who hugged him and the amount of photos taken of him that splashed across my Facebook page the next day shows it wasn't just me that looked at him as "that teacher".  He helped hundreds, if not thousands, of young adults feel better about themselves and find their own way in the world.  Isn't the woman who put the energy into raising such a man just as exceptional?  I say yes she is.  

 Obviously Ms. Glass has no children.  Otherwise she would never with a straight face say that it is easy.  Child rearing is one of the hardest jobs in the world.  You worry that every little thing that you do is going to influence them (which in most cases is true) and you second guess the choices that you make when something goes wrong.  I would love to see her try to comfort a small child that is feeling ill, especially when the older sibling is in the other room pulling all the toilet paper off the roll while you are attending to the child that wants nothing else but the comfort of mommy due to a fever or cold.  

 I have strong feelings that children should have a stay at home parent if at all possible.  I have no issue with a man being that parent that stays at home, if that is what works better for that particular family.  I am a realist, I understand perfectly well that it isn't always an option.  Life doesn't always work out that way.  Nor do I dismiss that fact that many women today want to work even if they could financially stay at home.  They feel they are a better parent by going out into the world and being productive at a job and bringing home at least part of the family income.  I do happen to believe it is best for the child to have a parent who is involved in the life of the child.  But I also understand that not all stay at home parents are good ones.  It all comes down to putting the work and the effort into raising a child to become a happy and productive adult.  That is something that can be done in a variety of ways and there is no one "right" way.  Every child is an individual and has their own needs that don't necessarily line up with the needs of other families.  

 But it is more than just a little insulting to hear another woman say that children and marriage is what keeps you from being exceptional.  For some people being exceptional is nothing more than being the best possible parent and the person who always had a clean home that was ready for anyone that dropped by.  

 I also must ask is the women who clean homes for a living lacking in the exceptional department as well?  After all they aren't doing much of anything according to this logic.  I guess they are just serfs who live to make the exceptional women such as she is lives a little easier so they can spend their energy being exceptional at their much more important jobs.  Seriously, how elitist is this woman?  There is no other way to take her little post other than a person who cleans homes is loser.  

 I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments. Men don’t care to “manage a household.” They aren’t conditioned to think stupid things like that are “important.”

Feminists seem to have this real disconnect when it comes to men.  That somehow they don't feel the guilt and they don't question what they are doing and how it affects their families.  Many men who travel a great deal with their jobs feel just as guilty that they aren't there for their kids.  They don't like missing virtually every soccer game.  They also seem to have this disconnect that children don't feel like something is missing from their lives because their dads are too busy working to have time for the little things that matter to them.  I guess those little goals and events that kids feel are important aren't exceptional enough for Ms. Glass.  

 My brother, who grew up with a father that didn't attend games or pretty much anything else, promised himself he would be a different kind of dad.  He has three boys that were all active in sports while they were growing up.  He rarely missed a practice, let alone a game.  My eldest nephew would sometimes get crazy over the fact that his father was "always around".  This kid also went to a private Catholic school.  He was involved with church group within the school.  One of the exercises they did in this group was to have the kids sit face to face and tell the other kid what they envied about them.  One of the kids told my nephew how jealous he was that his father was always at the games.  You see his father was an executive with some big corporation that required long hours and travel.  Yes, those kids had financial advantages that my nephew certainly didn't have, as my brother is on a much more limited budget, but what he got in return was time.  Which is really more exceptional?  I would have to say that putting the time into being the very best parent you can be as opposed to having a big house and large bank account is the far better choice.  But what do I know?  Obviously my life wouldn't rate as exceptional.  

My final quesiton would be, who is having all these exceptional young women?  Are only non-exceptional women giving birth and raising all these mighty exceptional women?  How is that even logical?  

Here's a Nominee for Parent of the Year

I am speechless.

Extreme Parenting Part 6

A mother in inner city Kansas City made a heart wrenching choice.  An elderly man who is confined to wheelchair was robbed in his home.  He answered the door and was confronted by young man pointing a gun to his head.  He made no effort to resist and the thugs entered his home and robbed him.

This being the second time that this happened to him, he had set up a video camera.  The entire episode was caught on camera and released to the public.  A mom saw her son being the gang leader in this disgraceful event.  She not only confronted her son, she marched him down to the police department and turned him.

It was the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean it was easy.  It takes a special kind of person to realize that even though you are more than likely putting your child in a position to do time in prison allowing them to get away with that kind of behavior is worse.  Her son is 18 years old.  But obviously he has no respect for private property, he has no respect for the elderly, he has no respect for people who have served our country *the victim is a vet*, he has no respect for himself.  She took it into her own hands to say to her son that this behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated by her or by society.

You also have to remember that cooperating with the police is not looked upon as something customary in the inner cities.  So it makes what she did even more noteworthy.  But I think this mom knew her child was out of control and fixing what is wrong is beyond her control.  I am also sure that she was worried he was on a path to end up dead, possibly in a shoot out with the police.

Kudos to this mom for doing the right thing.  I am sure her heart is breaking.

You can watch a news report here.  

Extreme Parenting Part 5

This comes from a listing on E-Bay.  A mother in Australia caught her daughter having a sleep-over with an older young man.  This coming shortly after buying her and girlfriends four tickets to a concert.  She decided to sell the tickets.  Here is the listing:

"THIS AUCTION IS FOR ALL 4 ONE DIRECTION TICKETS IN SYDNEY OCTOBER 25th. You can thank my daughters self righteous and lippy attitude for their sale. See sweety? And you thought I was bluffing. I hope the scowl on your b----- little friends faces when you tell them that your dad and i revoked the gift we were giving you all reminds you that your PARENTS are the ones that deserve love and respect more than anyone. And your silly little pack mentality of taking your parents for fools is one sadly mistaken. Anyhow. Your loss someone else's gain who deserves them! THE TICKETS ARE SEATED IN ROW O section 57. REMEMBER AUCTION IS FOR ALL 4 TICKETS and will be sent registered post.
...OH YOUR FRIENDS THOUGHT THAT A FEW PRANKS CALLS WOULD PUT ME OFF SELLING THE GIFT WE BOUGHT FOR THEM for YOUR BIRTHDAY because YOU all LIED to us about sleep overs so you could hang like little trollops at an older guys HOUSE????? Pffft!! I find it HIGHLY amusing that you girls think you invented this stuff. Tricks like this on OUR parents is how HALF of you were conceived .....And why a lot of your friends DONT have an address to send that Fathers day card to!!! I'm not your friend. I'm your MOTHER. And I am here to give you the boundaries that YOU NEED to become a functional responsible adult. You may hate me now..... But I don't care. Its my job to raise a responsible adult..not nuture bad habits in my teen age child."

Publically calling your child a trollop?  I would never do this to my child.  Never.

Hey I Know My Kid Broke the Law, But that Doesn't Mean They Should Face Any Punishment - Parents Threaten Lawsuits over Their Child's Illegal Behavior

Brian Holloway, former NFL player and father of eight, has a vacation home in New York State.  While at his home in Florida his 19 year-old son tells him about some pictures and things he is seeing on twitter.  They were about an out of control party being held in the vacation house.  Now these kids didn't have permission to be there, they broke in and decided to throw a big party.  Items have been stolen, they cleaned out his house of the alcohol he had in the home, they urinated on his carpeting, they spray painted his walls, destroyed hardwood flooring, and left drug paraphernalia on the property.

Brian was a long ways away trying to get a hold of the local sheriff to get these freeloaders out his home.  The sheriff did come and break up the party, which by the way they originally planned on staying for the Labor Day weekend.  The house has sustained thousands of dollars worth of damage and a yet to be determined amount loss due to stolen property.  Yet oddly, the sheriff was unable to make even one arrest.   I guess those kids were fast.  They ran and hid or something.

Brian hasn't taken this lying down.  He has reprinted all the tweets he could find that came from his home during this drunken home invasion.  What do the parents of these young adults do?  They threaten to sue.  That's right.  We wouldn't want little Suzy or Johnny to be publicly humiliated now would we?  After all, most of them are high school students getting ready to fill out applications for college.  How dare someone talk about how out of control their child is?

Now Brian hasn't accused anyone of anything.  He has only put out there tweets that these kids themselves put out on social media.  One tweet said:

yeah mom went to a party and got drunk but hey atleast I'm not a meth addict"

Emily's mom must be so proud.

Dear Maddie was upset that the party got busted, it would have been so much bigger.  Oh no, she missed out on more fun.  That is lawsuit worthy isn't it?  Another young man was glad that his parents don't care what he does.  Apparently not.

Only one parent, count it, one, showed up with their child to help clean up the mess.

We are more and more becoming a society that care nothing for personal property or the rights of the others.  It is me, me, and me that matters.  While it is understandable that kids that age don't get how hard it is to earn the money to afford a home, they should at the very least have the understand that breaking into someone's home is wrong.  That peeing on the carpet is wrong.  That spraying painting on a the wall is wrong.  Do these young adults live in zoo where anything goes?  Would they treat their parents home in this fashion?

But what is worse is the seeming lack of remorse shown by the parents.  It seems that their little brats getting into college is a more desirable thing rather than teaching their kids a sense of responsibility.  Actually showing their children that actions have consequences.  Very real consequences in this case.  That is a lesson that no college can teach these brats.  That is the lesson that the parents alone are in charge of.  But no, they will use our legal system to bash the victim and teach their kids that hey they are special, it was just one stupid mistake.  No biggie.  Move along, nothing to see here.

The Shaming of Mrs. Hall

I came across this blog post a few days ago and was working on a write-up about it.  Mrs. Hall is mom and she wrote an open letter to young women about the selfies that they post on social media in different stages of undress.  I never got around to hitting publish on it.  I am glad that I didn't because of the storm that this has caused.

As usual feminists have taken a disliking to Mrs. Hall and her words.  She is slut shaming and blaming the victim for any potential sexual abuse that may come into their lives.   Now Mrs. Hall did not such thing.  Her advice was simply that maybe teenage girls should be more aware of the dangers of social media and putting half-naked pictures of yourself isn't a good idea.

The thing that I never understood about the feminist movement is that they claim that they don't want to be treated like a sex object they then cry foul when you point out that showing your boobs to complete strangers is exactly what makes you a sexual object to some.

From Jezebel:

"Respect everyone regardless of their gender/sexuality/appearance," she might've said. "Don't worry! It's okay if you have sexual feelings! You're a sexual being! Girls are too. That doesn't mean you can treat them like objects. You and you alone are responsible for your thoughts and actions. Get over this Madonna-whore complex while you still can."

Now what she actually said was:

I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.
I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.  What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.

She was commenting on how these young women are posing into positions that make them look like a sexual object in various stages of undress.

Teaching your daughters to have some modesty is not slut shaming nor is it remotely close to saying they are responsible if they happen to get raped.  It is saying to them that the most important thing that they have is themselves.  It has value and that value is incalculable.  There is no monetary thing that can replace your body, your self-respect, your emotions, and everything else that makes you human.

Now I have always said that we teach our daughters to be careful when they are out at parties where others are drinking.  That behavior can put you in danger.  It doesn't mean that you deserve what happens to you, it means why put yourself in that position when it can be so easily avoided?  It is far less likely that young men will be raped.  But that doesn't mean we don't tell our sons that they should not be in those positions either.  We would should be teaching all of our children that their actions have consequences.

I have been thinking about some posts I have done in the past, the lawsuit filed by Yale students about sexual misconduct that occurred at an off campus Naked Party where people were drinking heavily.  Knock me over with a feather, I am shocked, shocked I say to hear that there was sexual misconduct going on.  That doesn't mean that the young men involved should get a pass.  If they committed a crime they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  But I would use this story as a teachable moment to young women and explain that when you are in this environment and you are drinking, bad things may happen to you.  Avoid the whole thing by not going to a naked party.  I am not saying  they deserved to be raped and/or assaulted.  Young adults, drinking, and sex is not a really good combination.

But of course the feminazi's of the world turned this into you are tempting my son to be unpure.  What she was actually trying to get across to these girls is if you don't want to be treated like a sexual object, don't act like one.  We are all human and sex and sexual feelings is part of our humanity.  Women and men think differently.  We just do.  Those different ways of reacting and thinking sometimes lead us to not understand the intentions of others.   This harkens me back to post about the New York Times article on Penn State and the Hook Up Culture.  A young women in that article flat-out said that if she started to sober up a little and realized she didn't want to have sex, she would just drop to her knees and open her mouth to get it over with.  Is that rape?  No, it isn't.  It is a young woman who made a series of bad choices that ended up with her on knees to gracefully find a way out of sex after a night of drinking.

These are the types of things that Mrs. Hall is trying to warn young women about.  You make these choices, thinking they are innocent and wont' cause any harm, and then find yourself in a dorm room on your knees performing oral sex on a man that you don't care about at all.  That isn't empowerment young ladies.  You have been used for sex.  That is exactly what makes men look at you as a sexual object.  No one is saying stay a virgin until you get married.  Or at least I am not.  That is an individual choice that all of must make for our own reasons.  What people like myself and Mrs. Hall are saying is that if you act a certain way, don't be shocked when you get treated that way.  It shouldn't be a surprise.

Here is a funny example of what Mrs. Hall was discussing.  Please note, I don't know how serious the injuries to the young woman was.  I hope that since the video was posted she suffered only minor burns.  But if you look closely you will see a bottle and shot glass on the table.  Someone put on that video camera.  Someone posted that video.  Please dont' tell me that young woman didn't wanted to be looked at as sexy, as someone you may want to hang with, dance with, most likely have sex with.  No one else made her an object except for herself.  This is what Mrs. Hall is trying to warn teenage girls about.

My Brilliant and Gifted 28-Year-Old Lives in My Basement

Another Blogger and radio host Matt Walsh received a letter from a listener.  It was from a father that feels that Matt is a "right winged extremist" for thinking his children should do chores, and eventually get a job when they are teens.

“Matt, I heard your horrible conversation today about parenting. A few comments in response:
1) Based on your remarks, I have to say I feel bad for your kids. You sound like the sort of person who never should have been a parent. You said you plain to teach your kids “how to think.” I guess this is common in right wing religious fundamentalist households. Personally, I let my child form his own conclusions about things. To impose your views on a child is tantamount to child abuse. Do them a favor, let them think FREELY.
2) You greatly exaggerate the importance of “chores.” Also, the idea that a kid should be forced to “get a job” is abhorrent. My son was very gifted so we gave him all the tools to succeed academically. This meant we didn’t turn him into slave labor and we certainly didn’t tell him he needed to go work behind a cash register. He concentrated on his school work, and we did our job as parents and financially supported him.
3) It’s easy to mock a “30 year old who lives with is parents.” My son is almost 29 and he’s been home with us since he graduated. Unfortunately the job market isn’t the greatest (maybe you hadn’t heard) and I’m not going to let him starve on the street. He has a college education, it’s pointless for him to be out working in a retail store or some other menial job. I will be here for him until he is able to get the job he deserves.
You need to grow up, get some life experiences and then maybe you’ll have the right to sermonize about parenting.
-Nick”

Just a thought here, if Nick Jr. were so gifted wouldn't he have been able to figure out how to make a living even in a bad economy?  This reminds me of a story.  About a month ago I went out with my best friend's mother.  The event we went to was being held in the local VFW.  I was sitting at a table waiting for the event to get started.  While I was waiting this man came over and introduced himself.  For whatever reason he started telling me his life story.  He is in his 80's.  He was telling me that when he was a young man his father forced him to get a job and would take most of his pay for rent.  He promised himself that he would never do that to his children.  He goes on to tell me that he never charged a dime in rent to any of his three children.  He then went on and told me that his 47-year-old son was still living at home and never paid rent.  He told me this story like it was a good thing.  I asked if his son was married?  He told me that his son had problems finding a "good woman".  Hmm, is the fact that he is middle-aged and has never had any sense of caring for himself be part of the reason?

I wasn't rude and didn't say anything to the man.  He believes that he has done his children a favor.  I happen to disagree.  I think it important to teach children a sense of responsibility.  I was having another conversation with another older gentleman he knows and he told me that he and his wife were having a conversation a few weeks ago and they have come to the realization that they never let their children grow up.  They did so much for them that they are constantly having problems in their lives when it comes to taking responsibility.  I am not at all surprised.

Of course, as a parent, you should help your children when they are in trouble.  If they hit hard times while an adult, sure let them move in and help them out until the get back on their feet.  If you can afford it, throw them a little rent money if they need it.  But to be the only support system for them is not helping them.  It more than likely is hurting them.

In the case of Nick, Jr, how does he date or even just go out with the friends if he has no income?  Are they also supporting his personal life?  I would think a man of that age wants to leave the house on occasion.  Does he have a car?  If so, who pays for that?  That would require insurance, gas, and the occasional repair, would it not?  What if he wants to go out for wings and a beer to watch Monday Night Football?

We are raising a generation of people who can't help themselves.  How exactly are they going to govern this country when their time inevitability comes?  A very terrifying thought.

Here is Matt's response to Nick.  It is a little meaner than I would ever be, but it is classic all the same:

Dear Nick,
1) Tell you what. How ’bout I blindfold you, drive you out into the middle of the desert at night, and then leave you there without a map or a GPS? It’ll be great. You can just travel FREELY. After all, who am I to bring you to this place and then presume to tell you how to navigate? I’m just the guy that kidnapped you and dumped you into a hostile, cold wilderness. It would be presumptuous and authoritative of me to offer you direction and guidance. So I’ll let you wander around aimlessly until you collapse exhausted in a ditch, and are eaten slowly by wild scavengers. You’re welcome. I mean, I assume you’ll be grateful. I’ll merely be applying your parenting technique to the situation.
By the way, did you ever tell your kid not to play in the street? Did you instruct him about the dangers of hot stoves and fallen electrical wires? This is a quandary. See, if you imposed your anti-high voltage power line views on your kid, then apparently you’re guilty of abuse by your standards. However, if you didn’t, you’re guilty of reprehensible neglect by the standards of civilized human beings. I’m not an expert on parenting. I never claimed to be. But you don’t need to be an expert to know that one of the fundamental tasks of a parent — and this really speaks to the whole point of the endeavor — is to teach your child how to navigate the physical, moral, spiritual and intellectual dangers of life. This includes teaching them how to think, which could also be referred to as passing on your values and your worldview. If you have no interest in doing this, then I would suggest that you never really wanted a child — you wanted a friend. Now you have one. Living at home with you. Forever. Congratulations.
2) Chores schmores. What can they teach a kid? Discipline, obedience, and hard work? Screw that. What is this, the 50′s? Listen, Nick, don’t take this the wrong way, but what leads you to the conclusion that your son is “gifted”? He can’t mow the lawn, work a job, earn a living, pay a bill, apply a skill, or support himself, yet he’s “gifted”? What are his gifts, exactly? You know, something tells me an astronaut’s parents never have to inform people that their child is “gifted.” People sort of pick up on that based on context clues. They behold his accomplishments and admire his achievements. They can SEE his gifts. He uses them, applies them, refines them. Your son MIGHT have gifts — the jury is still out — but whatever they may be, they’ll atrophy and whittle away the longer he spends lounging in a bean bag chair eating macaroni and cheese.
3) So your brilliant and gifted 29 year old son would “starve” if he was forced to take care of himself? The “gifted” standard is getting lower by the day, isn’t it? I’ve been living independently and taking care of myself since before I could legally drink a Heineken. I guess that makes me a Nobel candidate — if your helpless grown adult son gets to set the bar for “gifted.”
The kind of oblivious snobbery you display used to be reserved for classes of nobility and royalty. Now, any drooling schlub who spent 4 years getting drunk and fornicating at college can claim to be “too good” for almost every available job. Your son isn’t above anyone. He certainly isn’t superior to hard working cashiers and retail clerks who support themselves, raise families and live full lives, as your little snowflake hides under his bed while mommy makes him hot cocoa and tells him he’s special.
News flash, Nick: Junior ain’t special. He graduated school, good for him. Anyone can do that if they’ve got money, time and no pressures or responsibilities from the outside world. Your little pumpkin doesn’t “deserve” a job. I wouldn’t hire him to dig a ditch, much less take on serious responsibilities of any kind. You can spend your whole life telling everyone what you and your son deserve, meanwhile the rest of us will be out in the world, earning, striving, accomplishing, living.
Nick, it’s somewhat peculiar that you chose to end your email by chastising me for not having “life experiences.” I’m two years younger than Nick Jr and I’m married with two kids. I’ve got a career in broadcasting and goals for the future that I’m steadily working toward achieving. I’m not exactly at the point where I’ve got enough material to write my memoirs, but I’ll get there one day. In any case, you, my friend, need to take that “life experiences” lecture and bring it home to the pudgy couch potato sleeping in your basement.
Thanks for the email.
God speed,
Matt

Here's a Nominee for Mom of the Year

A woman has decided that her smart, but socially awkward son needs to get some to get over his shyness.  She places this ad on Craigslist to find someone to take his virginity.

I am sure that any mom worries about a child that is shy.  It is hard to know that your child isn't getting all the great things that come with having friendships and even dating.  But isn't this pushing it a little too far?  Having sex isn't going to magically make his shyness go away nor will it necessarily give him courage.  He may very well fall very hard for the first person that he is intimate with and end up with a badly broken heart.  He may have very well made a decision that he wants to be really in love the first time he is intimate with someone and he doesn't feel comfortable sharing that decision with his mother.

What if her son just doesn't want to be seduced?  What is this young woman supposed to do, force him?

This is allegedly a kid that has a bright future in front of him after graduating from one from a university that is considered to be one of the top in the nation.  Shouldn't his education take top priority?  After all he has plenty of time to date and socialize.

One can hope that this is some sort of fake.