Camp Whitney V. Camp Bobby

I am so over all the coverage on the death of Whitney Houston. Yes, of course it is tragic. She was too young to die. But the wall to wall coverage, especially when you consider they don't really know anything, is over the top. But that is the nature of the beast in our celebrity driven culture today.

What we do know is that she drowned in a bathtub, the coroners have confirmed water was found in her lungs. What we also know is that in normal circumstances if you fall asleep in the tub and fall into the water you will wake yourself up in time to keep yourself from drowning. It isn't a stretch to believe that Whitney had some sort of drugs in her system that rendered her unable to wake herself up in time. Her addiction issues are well-known and her most recent stay in rehab came less than a year ago in April or May. There are witnesses that said they saw her out drinking several nights before her death and TMZ reports that prescription drugs were found in her hotel room. Anyone that is less than one year out of rehab should not be drinking, let alone taking prescription drugs. All that is doing is changing one addiction for another.

I have watched and read many of things being said about her death. There are many that are putting the blame on her ex-husband Bobby Brown for the downward spiral that became her life shortly after marrying him. While it is true that most of her fame came before and immediately after her marriage, she was a big girl.

Many young women go through the I am addicted to a bad boy phase during the teen and early adult years. I went through that myself. I stayed with a man who had substance abuse problems for far too long. The closer my wedding got to him the more I realized that I couldn't go through with it. Mainly because the realization of how bad of father he would be hit me and I didn't want to put my children through that. While it was painful, I walked away. I also spent years after that examining the reasons that I stayed with him for as long as I did. The conclusion that I came to was my own low self-esteem. He treated me the way he did because I allowed it. I was smart enough to never became the substance abuser that he was. While I did partake in things that I shouldn't have, I always understood my limitations.

To blame Bobby Brown for the downward spiral of Whitney's life is to take every bit of responsibility that she had for her own life. Life doesn't work that way. It would be nice if it did, but the truth is, it just doesn't. While no one can argue with the facts that if you come from a family of substance abuse you are far more likely to be an abuser yourself. That is also true of child abuse, many child abusers were abused themselves. But it is not a forgone conclusion that you will become an abuser simply based on your childhood.

People do survive whatever issues they face in their childhoods and grow to be happy, well-adjusted adults. There are people who have no substance abuse in their childhoods and grow up to become abusers. We make choices in life. One of the reasons that I don't drink very much is because I have addictive personality so I avoid things that cause those type of problems. I won't take much in the way of pain medication unless it is absolutely necessary and I just can't get through the day without it. I try not to take aspirin if I can at all help it.

The truth is that substance abuse is one of the most selfish acts you can do as a human being. Once it has wormed its way into your life it completely takes over. The addiction is first and foremost in your life. It comes before your spouse, your job, your child, and anything else that you love. For you to reach that point your self-esteem is very low. Somewhere within yourself you feel you are not good enough. You need to be drinking and partying for others to like you. It helps you be "one of the crowd". You put everything else in your life on the back-burner. Nothing else really matters as much as the next high. I have seen people walk away from their children, I have seen people ruin their marriages, and I have seen people die at far too early of an age just for the next high. The man I loved died at the ripe old age of 35, leaving two small children who will not even remember him. He did that to himself. No one else was to blame for his problems. He knew he had a problem, but he refused to do anything about it. He didn't love himself enough to change the direction of his life.

The same is true of Whitney Houston. She didn't love herself enough. She didn't realize that her daughter, while a young adult, still needs her mommy. Her family wasn't ready to say goodbye to her. But she didn't care enough to deal with the real reasons that she was addicted. After being in rehab, she was no longer physically addicted to the substances that landed her there in the first place. It became what was between her ears and what was in heart, not what was in her bloodstream. That problem had been licked.

While Bobby Brown is not a man I would want in my life, I certainly can't blame him for someone else's actions. They only things that caused Whitney to use drugs and drink too much were her own two hands. One of her big hits was about the greatest love of all, the love of yourself. Too bad for her family and for the world that loved her talent that they were no more than lyrics to her.

Career Day Sure Has Changed Since I was in School

Most elementary schools ask the parents to come in and talk to the students about their jobs. Not only does this give kids a chance to hear about things that is outside of their own worldview, it involves parents in the education of their children. Most children are very proud of their parents. In Henrico, Virginia such a day took place. One of the parents that came in is a plastic surgeon. As a Show and Tell prop he brought along breast implants and they were passed around to the kids feel.



This was done without any warning to the parents of the children in this classroom. This presentation was done for the older children, which means they are about 9 or 10. This is an age where they are finding out about their bodies and the changes that they will be going through in the next few years.


We live in society that puts way too much emphasis on our bodies and how we look as it is. Children are bombarded with issues such of these, and it is already difficult for parents to teach their kids it is what is on the inside that really matters. We also have Michelle Obama's lets move initiative that is highlighting the weight of our kids. There is struggle within our schools to deal with the problems of childhood obesity and the lack of exercise our kids are getting these days.


Most children are not mature enough to distinguish the difference between a healthy body image and being too thin. They are also not mature enough to understand the difference between looking a model they see on magazine covers and the reality of what human beings really look like. Not even the model themselves look as good in real life as they do on the cover of Vogue. This puts pressure on many young women to turn to plastic surgeons to find that beauty that they are seeking. It seems that parents are turning to plastic surgery as way to keep their kids from being bullied:

Statistics from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery show that the number of children and teens who get cosmetic surgery increased nearly 30 percent over the past decade. Experts believe an increase in bullying behavior is one reason for the upward trend.

What exactly are we trying to teach children with displays like these? Can you imagine the giggles that came from these kids when they found out they were touching a fake breast? Small kids don't understand why breast implants may be necessary unless they have the unfortunate experience of a close family member that has had breast cancer. I am sure that there were many children who were very embarrassed by this display. While children are naturally curious, is this a curiosity that we should be enabling in 9 year olds?


Needless to say that most parents were very unhappy when they found out about this display. Parents have the right to decide what their children are ready for and what they are not. Not all parents want their children exposed to an explanation of breast implants at the age of 9. Parents have a hard enough time to guide their children through the very difficult tween years where they are struggling to be like everyone else and have yet to realize that being yourself is much more important. Instead this program is planting the seed that your body image and your looks are the important factors to your self-esteem. It is way past time that the school systems start to realize that as parents we have the right to decide what our kids are and are not exposed to at young ages. Teachers and administrators do not have the right to make these choices for us.