Saturday, May 11, 2013

An Ode to Step Mothers on Mother's Day

This weekend across the country countless people will be paying tribute to their Moms, as they should.  Moms are very important in our lives.  Most moms give everything they have to raise their children to be healthy, happy, well-adjusted adults.  They are an integral part of our childhoods and society as a whole.  But sadly, not many will be talking about the role of step mothers.

We live in a society, for good or for bad, that have many blended families.  The divorce rates show that.  In a perfect world we would raise our children in the nuclear family, but we don't live in a perfect world.  Without getting into the right and wrong of this phenomenon we have to accept that it exists.

More and more people are getting married later in life and putting off having children.  Sadly many women that put off having children then find themselves in the unfortunate situation of not being able to conceive on their own.  In many cases these women are just the "stepmom".

Step-Mothers have gotten a bad rap for longest time now.  Some of that is well deserved I am sure.  But many women out there are doing extraordinary things in helping to raise children into adulthood.  There are giving their all in helping their husbands parent, yet they are told by society that they don't know what it is like to be a "mom".

Giving birth isn't what really makes you a mommy.  Being one of those is a very different thing than being a mother.  Being there for a child is a very rewarding experience, even considering how hard it is.  Most parents wouldn't trade their kids for anything in the world.  I wish I could say all parents would say that, but they don't.

Many women out there put everything they have into raising kids that they didn't give birth to, sometimes in very difficult circumstances.  They are subjected to children who look at them as the impediment that is keeping their parents apart and sometimes the former spouses do everything possible to keep children feeling that way.  Sadly many children are put in the middle of love that has gone bad.  That is a very difficult situation to find yourself in when you are trying to make a relationship work and deal with children that are not your own.

Step children in many cases have developed trust issues due to the break-up of their parents, which is perfectly understandable.  The Step Mom must overcome these issues as well as dealing with her own day-to-day stresses of everyday life.

Step mom's still deal with sick children, homework, the temper tantrums, the balancing of work and family, and in many cases does this without the credit from the rest of society.  She is often put in the position that she has to bite her tongue to keep the peace and she makes many of the same sacrifices that any parent must make.

So for those that have step parents in their lives just remember they deserve a little call out this weekend as well.

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